in my mind

"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.''

I would love to begin to say one day , but let me write or say something new. Yo bitch ass i got some shit to say man or the white man of saying One fine day when things where a little different. You be amused of they how we interpreted things and what we do. many things which is said or done has a little affect and will have certain kind of effect. how or why. defining or what it may be. but the effect can be slow but sometimes it be quick . I meet a guy who was selling his products but i denied his products and my boss gave his order to get his products. but he said to me u not decision maker u do not intended to save your boss money. but i told him i was not order to save money but was given specific instruction to chase you away. he said you look different. i said i am different by color by race , and by who i am. but i am human . i have red blood if i cut myself. but i asked him what do you see outside this large window. he said i see chaos. nothing but chaos outside. i said look beyond the chaos. same reply chaos was not he saw but it was in his mind. believe is what you see and think you see the real. He ask me what i saw. In reply i told him i saw blue green red and more. he said u lied. i said no. but that is what i saw. Imagine you stood by a large window on a ground floor and watched people move outside. Now imagine the window and you where 110 story high. How you feeling now. You standing close to a big window 110 story's high. look below and what do you see. I see i have the world under my feet and i am king of hill. No i see the world below my feet but i am not the king. I saw more than what he saw. i see love. love that was never said or done. love that keep the world together and the song people sing is for earth . maybe a way of saying thank you for this wonderful place. it is actually love. You do see it everywhere.Remember the days as i was a kid i walked the streets back home. the sun hovering above us as we played football in the dirt and going around in our bicycles and time was so slow u barely realize the time . Back as children then we lived the carefree lives and we see adults who look like huge tree and moving around. back then i was always now which sweet is better and i as i lay in my bed i wondered if there was Timbuktu place. and where is the entrance to it. i was kinda like myself a treasure hunter going through obstacles and fight bad villains and saving the treasure. or when get my bike i picture my myself driving a 500 cc cruising down the on the racing track.Now I am walking my fat ass in the fucking cold and have bills to sort and people come running to ask me money like i m a supermarket that have discounted rates. and they go missing. now this is when i really think what the fuck is wrong here. Am i missing something. No, i know you not going to say every dog has it's day. but i tell You what my friend told me or what i use to say. well make it what we both said. '' life is a bitch then u marry one is what my friend said. well i told him life s a bitch and u moan with it. now what is better. the moaning or marrying one. or should i just say that '' Women you can't live with them and you can 't live without them '' . Right .... . This is sometimes confusing when somebody comes and ask you when the next train arrives. and you give that look and start going , um-mm , err , aah and then finally u say i don't know. now i bet she would bitch smacked your black or whatever color was your ass at that time of point. Basically i was was when i stood in a train station waiting for a train to arrive.but what i did not realize was my jacket i was wearing. it matched the staff of the train station. and i mistaken for working there. Until i told some people i do not work here. but this nice old lady which said You do fit in the customer service department. Now Excuse me lady i have to get back home to watch Simpson's. Duhhh. Summer came and when. Autumn settled in and it took a time to see the wondrous colors form around. from the beautiful yellow gold to the stunning green and the reds on certain parts just goes well and the day was getting shorter. Winter came like a big bang and sign of the festive spirit which is Christmas comes in. A sign of giving and receiving. saying many thanks, healing old patches , getting new friends and thoughts of the times with your old friends and sitting by the fire with your loved ones. As i recall all i ever did was get drunk before going to church and after church. Yes try standing two hrs straight while u been drinking from morning till the time u need to get to church and visit god. Yes and put on a straight smile. but you know deep down that is not the straight smile of saying I'm fine thank you. where else when everyone sits you stand when everyone stand you sit. Now been there done that. Michael Buble - Home . I listen to this song quite now and then followed by Simply Red - If you don't know me by now and later Eric Clapton - Wonderful tonight and Frank Sinatra - I got you Under My skin and Elvis Presley - love me tender. Still listening to all this song there is this One song is always ringing in my head . And it started like when Oh if you see me screaming but deep in my mind i am only dreaming and if i wake up and you by my side. Never knew why but what love really got to do? seriously anything you do what is love go to do i am puzzled anyways. cause the love part seriously never hit me and being by myself sounds fine to me.Sunday morning is the best time to get up early and get your lazy ass to church. now if i remember quiet well of my mom shouting at me to hurry or will be late. Not late of attending the mass but she wanted to get a good seating position. Yes, if you walk into a church you try to look for the best seat, as if you walking to watch a football match or attending a concert. everybody wants to get the best seat to see the priest. well to be honest with you i always thought that all priest were gay. Well i thought some priest did look like Elvis Presley or the gay George Michael. (that is when i was a young boy ). Yes , when you sit down try to look around you and you see all these people hovering about trying different seating positions. i wonder do you come to pay your respect to god or you trying to seek attention from the priest showing your an angel with the golden ring above your head. Now to me no matter if i stand or sit it makes no differences. Yes i slept during mass time. yup it is me . i dunno but when the priest start preaching bout the kingdoms of heaven or the thought of the day there i was snoring loudly and all will stare and my friends and family . wakey wakey. . for peet sake you snoring a bit too loud. And i m like yes yes oh be saying the prayer which did not fit into the mass part. The time i wake up is when i hear mass had ended go and in peace . funny i always sleep during mass time only. never knew why but i just dozed out straight away.Now that time is different. i meat new people . new places to see. well to me i speak to anyone on the road or anywhere i see. and i did this couple of times. i was stuck in a traffic jams. due to some stupid women who forgot to fill her radiator with water. other side had accident. so two ways were blocked badly. and my car window was down and on the other side was a guy smoking. i turned looked and and suddenly said hi. he turned and replayed. as we chatted my Friend look in disbelief and was astound to what was going on. when the cars started move and the traffic was easing. we bid goodbye. the my friend ask me. did you know him. i said no i don't i told i was bored and you were not talking so i had to kill time . My friend's face changed and he told me now what are u doing. You simply can't go say hi to somebody, well i just did. and times waiting at the bus stop or train station. So and so even the conductor or taxi driver will give me free ticket or ride to my destination. not to mention of me going to visit my aunt after along time and an hour to the journey the bus driver informs us that there a slight problem with the bus and have to make a quick stop. what supposed to be a two hours journey became a 5 hours wait an we all ended up in taxi's payed by the company. now that is not service. where is my high tea. and i getting fired cause i was late. excuse me aunt but it wasn't me. now where did i hear that wasn't me thing. yes the bank. oops.Extraordinary. Ever watched the movie Bruce Almighty. Well i did. I realize that sometimes We have the power to do things that are impossible. but deep down we have amazing strenght and it takes to extreme lenghts in our lives. Many of us always run to god to ask him for help and show us the way. I only say thanks. When you look after yourself , god is there. No when doing something . do whole heartily and end of the day u will not have a single guilty feeling. No matter in work , life or love. Everything is possible. Yes like a mum who works yet has time to take her kids to the movie and come home and cook dinner. i say she more than a woman. but that is extraordinary. amen